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Kid Gloves and Hard Truths: Therapy Isn’t Always Comfortable

I’m sitting here, trying to figure out what to write—blank screen, my third energy drink of the day, and a brain that’s already wandered off somewhere. When a colleague walks in and says, “I’ve got a case for you.”

Well, okay then. You’ve got my attention.

This person needs someone who’s direct, firm, but also encouraging. Sounds like my kind of challenge. But here’s the catch: will they stick with therapy long enough to actually benefit from it? Or will they tap out when things get uncomfortable—because let’s be real, the hard stuff is hard.

Learning about yourself takes work. Gaining emotional intelligence? Also hard. You think it’s tough hearing feedback from a boss, family member, or friend? Try taking feedback from yourself. The hard kind. The kind that shows up disguised as anxiety, frustration, or that nagging feeling you can’t quite name. But if you slow down and actually feel it, there’s usually something deeper going on.

I learned one of my hardest lessons at 20 years old. (Yes, I hit the big 4-0 this year—how did that happen?!)

I was thriving at work—crushing goals, getting promoted, feeling unstoppable. Then my manager sat me down and said, “Breanna, you’re doing great, but maybe try using a little more… kid gloves.”

Kid gloves? I had no idea what that meant. My brain immediately pictured a toddler in boxing gear. Once I came back to reality, I realized she was correcting me. And like any self-assured 20-year-old, I got mad. Defensive. Irritated. I was doing a great job! Profits were up, people were being held accountable—what’s the problem?

I didn’t say anything out loud (thankfully), but I stewed for days. Honestly, I’m still a little salty. But I’m also grateful she took the time to teach me something I wasn’t ready to hear.

Fast forward to about 7–8 years ago, and another boss told me the same thing—my accountability expectations were a bit much. Again, I got mad. Again, I stewed. But this time, I had grown. I had done some work. I had developed emotional intelligence. I gave the polite “thank you for your feedback” and then spent the next few days reflecting.

Why am I like this? Why do I expect so much?

I thought about personality assessments (yes, they’re fun and surprisingly insightful), and I thought about who I really am. At my core, I’m direct. I don’t shy away from confrontation. I’ll call out the elephant in the room without blinking. I expect intensity, accountability, and integrity from everyone—because I assume everyone shares my work ethic and values.

But here’s the thing: just because I can do all that, doesn’t mean I should.

Working as a therapist has taught me how to be a chameleon—how to adapt to each person while still staying true to myself. I’ve learned to push (gently… or sometimes not so gently), to listen, to lead, and to sit with people in their mess. And maybe more importantly, I’ve learned to sit with myself.

Everyone’s struggling with something. Having a therapist, mentor, friend, or boss who genuinely cares can make all the difference. But growth doesn’t happen until you choose to listen. And yeah, your therapist might say things that are hard to hear—but there’s usually something there worth exploring.

Find someone who knows how to challenge you, walk beside you, and give you space to grow. Because the best version of you is waiting—and it’s not afraid of the hard stuff.

The truth is, therapy isn’t always easy—but it can be life-changing. If you’re looking for a therapist who will be real with you (and walk with you through the messy parts), check out B&G Mental Health Counseling and Consulting. I offer virtual counseling and professional customized workshops/education anywhere in Iowa. You don’t have to do the hard stuff alone.

Sometimes personal growth begins with being willing to hear something we don't want to hear.

Therapy can provide a space to slow down, understand your patterns, and explore how your experiences, beliefs, and relationships shape the way you respond to yourself and others.

Learn more about Relationship & Personal Growth Therapy Here!